Of course nobody wants to hear that a marriage may be over. But what if it really doesn’t work anymore, what if you get a gnawing feeling in your stomach when you read the list below and it makes you realize that something is going wrong in your relationship?
Read the listed signs below on How to know your marriage is over and decide for yourself how it works between you.
1.Are you often sad, do you cry much or more than usual? – It is not uncommon for you to be more emotional when things are not going well. Irritations and frustrations are sometimes tucked away deeply, but your subconscious mind finally manages to bring them out, often in the form of emotional showers. A sign that something is wrong and that you should not ignore it, but tackle it.
2.Does your partner really comment on everything you do and say? Sometimes in life it feels like nothing is going well anyway, but if your partner also throws oil on the fire, the gate is dammed. Consider whether it is personal, or whether it might be a real attack on your words / actions? If you have the feeling that you always go to your partner but I think I never do it well, then it might be a sign that something is wrong.
3.What do you actually tell your friends and family about your relationship? Logical that you do not hang your dirty laundry outside with everyone, but what image do you get of the outside world? If you keep insisting that everything is going well, knowing that something is wrong, who are you kidding? It is not for nothing that people ask how you are doing, some friends or loved ones really have a nose for it, admit it and air your heart when needed.
4.Do you still have sex with each other? Affection is a basic necessity just like eating and drinking. A person needs to feel connected, loved and cared for. Of course the sex will no longer be as frequent as in the early days, but as a couple you know how often it is normal for you … check whether you still have sex with each other regularly. If your partner avoids your express, no longer shows affection, and no longer looks for socializing, or if you almost have to beg for a hug or pat on your head, then it is clear that something is REALLY wrong.
5.Do you also withdraw from friendships or social interactions with family and friends? Did you ever go and do something with your friends every weekend, or have a drink after work with your colleagues and do you now avoid that? Without fooling around, this is also a sign. You probably don’t want to talk about it at all, there is no one who understands you! But watch out, don’t just put your friendships on inactive, you need people in your life, make sure you keep seeing them, because depression can lurk just around the corner.
6.Do you fantasize about leaving and leaving your partner? Not that you dream away for a moment about a wild adventure, because that should be possible. No, really gone. In such a way that you feel relieved when you think of a life alone and therefore without your partner. Perhaps you have already thought further and looked at a different living space or a new place to live? No wonder, as humans we are programmed to fight or flee if something bad happens to us. So if it really does not go inside anymore and you break it emotionally or physically, the natural response is to flee all the pain that you feel.
7.How do you interact? Is there still respect or are you just mean to each other, out to hurt each other … or continuously fitting for each other? If even every little thing becomes a major conflict, there is clearly more going on. Whereas in the past you could ask slightly irritated if your partner wanted to take out the trash for the umpteenth time on Thursday, it has now become world war 3. Of course we know in a marriage to press exactly the right buttons to ignite the other! If you notice that it is becoming increasingly cold for you what your partner says or does, then it is time to think carefully before arguments (verbally or physically) really get out of hand.
Remember that no relationship is perfect, but keep in mind that if much of the above sounds recognizable to you, it might be a sign that a thorough look at your marriage relationship may be necessary. Decide well for yourself if your emotional well-being does not suffer under these circumstances and seek help from family, friends or professional bodies if necessary! Who knows it is you who can help yourself the best out of this situation.